I picked up my diary earlier and read the last few sentences of the last entry I had written, which was way back (‘way back’ – snorts at myself) in October 2015. It ended like so, written three times (spaced out to make it more dramatic):
I resent her.
(I want to use all the fancy features of blog postings. Excuse my dramatic tendencies.)
You may or may not know, but the last thing I had posted on my blog pertained to some very dark feelings, about a friend, a dear friend, who contemplated many dark things as well.
I would like to clarify that I do not resent her…anymore lol. I have moved past that and have started talking to her again as of mid-January or end-January. (I was lazy more than anything else to start talking to her sooner…) It was my decision to ask for space and I am very glad to have had the time to get my head out of my ass and the time to heal. =)
I was really angsty in 2015! Such a teenager, ahaha. It was often the reason I found myself writing in my diary or on my blog – to vent, mostly. I have no particular reason to do so tonight! I simply felt I should Something about being crap at writing fiction, but I should write something. Hencefoth. Thus – here I am, ahaha.
Next semester, I should take a fiction-writing class. I am so scared to think about it. People will be reading the deepest parts of me through are for academic purposes…Though at least I will have E!
(E is a new friend I made in school. There is probably much to tell you about my life at university, my first year quickly coming to its end, the friends I have made, the assignments I am currently pushing off even though they are due tomorrow…But summarizing the last 6~7 months is a bit…;^^)
In any case! I think I will leave to write something short until my cousin calls me. That, and work on the physics project in the meantime – and there is nothing i regret more than taking that class.
I have many regrets. :p (I do not dwell on them too much.)
Until next time!
P.S: I have had my diary for nearly 4 years now, and it is scary to think I can go back through my thoughts. Sometimes, I am embarrassed (of how I used to be? Of how much I haven’t changed as well, perhaps. lol…)